Blue skies turn dark black
A line of cars on the road
Adding to the fume
Lines of cold machines
Clogging the only way through
Moving like a snail
The numbers go up
Pass your imagination
There are no limits
The people complain
The time is running out soon
There will be none left
The price of petrol
And the fumes of many cars
I wonder what’s next
I wrote this poem mainly to raise the issues of global warming and rising petrol prices. The poems also lead to questions of what will happen next. How high can petrol prices go? How long can human beings survive without wiping each other out? How can we stop this?
The first stanza is about global warming and pollution and how the traffic conditions only add to the destruction of earth.
The second stanza is about the congested traffic moving very slowly.
The third stanza is about rising petrol prices going higher and higher.
The fourth stanza is about people complaining about the rising petrol prices and how petroleum will run out sooner or later. The fact that if the cars are moving at a snail’s pace means that the people are wasting even more petrol only makes things worse.
The last stanza is a conclusion about the poem and evokes the questions in your mind.
My inspiration for this poem was when I was travelling back home in a car and the cars were moving very slowly. And when we passed the petrol station the price was like 169.9 cents per litre of petrol made me think of writing a poem about how bad the condition of travelling was. This lead to other things such as global warming and pollution.
I have written all the poems as haikus. I used a lot of imagery to evoke images in readers’ minds and used some similes, metaphors and repetition.
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2 comments:
I really like your originality of making the stanzas in you poem haikus. As well as this, the imagery you managed to fit into your short stanzas is amazing.
In your second stanza the line, "Lines of cold machines" struck me because instead of using the word cars directly, you called them machines which makes a difference to your poem. It adds mystery to your poem which is what I like.
Although all your imagery and stanzas are really good, I felt a bit let down when you mentioned "cars" and "petrol" in your final stanza. I think you should have kept the mystery of the poem instead of revealing what the poem was about, however obvious it may be.
And lastly, I want to say that most of all, I like how you touched upon a topic that is common to everybody in life. Instead of writing about the beauty nature, you have chosen to write about how global warming is a big problem and how people are oblivious to it and more concerned about petrol.
P.S. I think that "snail" is two syllables so the third line in your second stanza is not completely following the guidelines for haikus.
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